The nice me seeks for happiness, to be in a blissful state always, allowing nothing to thwart it. The morbid me seeks for a curse, a curse on... hmmm... me. Suffer I must, forever and ever.
Something seemed to have connected during my 12hour visit to Hong Kong recently. Alone, looking like one of them, yet not speaking and understanding their language, I felt I'm home, yet not quite. Searching for my destinations, or simply plain wondering around, it just seemed like it was meant to be whether expected or unexpected to me. It was strangely silent, something is different, or becoming different, or felt like becoming different. Perhaps it was just the contrast from my 13 days in California prior to Hong Kong that I felt such.
Then, an interviewee seeking to fill a new position in my team said this during our tele-conversation: "I'm seeking to leave my current job, not because I'm not up to the job, but because I cannot connect with it." It struck a chord within me, it resonated with something within. Doesn't matter if the interview results in a totally different outcome, I'm just glad someone pointed that out to me.
Things in the office is never the same after the episode last August. Not many of you knew what happened, but I'll leave it as "it was a failed attempt, which gotten worldwide attention, almost". Anyway, the difference seemed more stark since the year started, though on the surface we have started to have normal and non-awkward conversations, both work and non-work related. Whatever that I'm feeling, which may be due to my usual uber-sensitivities, I'm glad normality is returning, at least on the surface.
The Poi within is looking for inner-peace, not happiness, not suffering.
24 February 2007
13 August 2006
When was the last time...?
When was the last time I update this neglected blog?
- That's an answer you can find out somewhere on this page.
When was the last time I am frank and candid on this blog?
- Not sure, but certainly not always.
So when will be the next time I'll update this blog?
- Certainly not even myself knows for sure.
Different questions invite different answers. Logically.
Different situations requires different handling. Usually.
Different future depends on a different present. Maybe.
In the future...
I will be able to tell when was the last time I did something wrong.
I will be able to tell how the wrong was done.
I will be able to tell why I was in the wrong.
Or right.
- That's an answer you can find out somewhere on this page.
When was the last time I am frank and candid on this blog?
- Not sure, but certainly not always.
So when will be the next time I'll update this blog?
- Certainly not even myself knows for sure.
Different questions invite different answers. Logically.
Different situations requires different handling. Usually.
Different future depends on a different present. Maybe.
In the future...
I will be able to tell when was the last time I did something wrong.
I will be able to tell how the wrong was done.
I will be able to tell why I was in the wrong.
Or right.
8 March 2006
17 January 2006
Freqency and Wavelength
High school physics class taught me that one is the inverse of the other. But often in life, it's difficult to find anything that's the exact opposite of something.
Do I need to have answers/reasons to the stuff that I do? I know I want to. But do I have to provide them for others to know? The answer is not always. I don't want to be always the good guy providing a nice evading reply even when I don't feel like it. It just takes too much effort... sometimes. Is that one of my mood swings?... I think so.
Having just read something about Humane/Duck Interfaces on Martin's blog, it set me thinking further... quite nonsensically actually. Is my wide variety of behaviours a case of a Duck Interface? where people usually makes use of one of several interface but not knowing of its other implementations? This is certainly a Nonsense Interface.
Sometimes, I have to trust my own instinct not to think further than temptations have me to. Whether are there really opposites to be found, it must not matter that much. And so I gather that if there are really opposites, let it be and not let me question its existence nor acknowledge it. Frequency and wavelengths, unless I'm a scientist who needs to be precise with my wordings, it doesn't matter in which manner I use them in daily use.
Do I need to have answers/reasons to the stuff that I do? I know I want to. But do I have to provide them for others to know? The answer is not always. I don't want to be always the good guy providing a nice evading reply even when I don't feel like it. It just takes too much effort... sometimes. Is that one of my mood swings?... I think so.
Having just read something about Humane/Duck Interfaces on Martin's blog, it set me thinking further... quite nonsensically actually. Is my wide variety of behaviours a case of a Duck Interface? where people usually makes use of one of several interface but not knowing of its other implementations? This is certainly a Nonsense Interface.
Sometimes, I have to trust my own instinct not to think further than temptations have me to. Whether are there really opposites to be found, it must not matter that much. And so I gather that if there are really opposites, let it be and not let me question its existence nor acknowledge it. Frequency and wavelengths, unless I'm a scientist who needs to be precise with my wordings, it doesn't matter in which manner I use them in daily use.
13 December 2005
interesting or uninteresting?
Blogging from Neuchatel, Switzerland doesn't feel any different. Hahahahaaaa, I mean should it?
Being in this new job does bring about certain challenges which I never thought would bother me. There are mostly about working with new people, being conscious about team and people dynamics and other stuff mostly concerning people matters. This brings me to the topic of what makes interesting work, and work interesting to me.
I have no doubt that technical challenges is the main factor for making any work interesting for me. But I also know for a fact that I'm also very much of a people person too. Let me rephrase: I am someone who is always concerned about how best to put forth my comments and ideas so that I'm understood and not misunderstood, and simultaneously being as sensitive as I can to how others are feeling about me, the situation and such. Such people-aspects of work, and life of course, has been an on-going effort and thus sometimes is relegated to the sub-conscious.
Thus, it is interesting to me that I'm putting in more effort to take a conscious note of the people dynamics around me than being worried about work challenges, or the lack of it.
Logically, blogging in an entirely different location should not matter that much. But again, it does feel good to being able to look out of the window and see a snow covered field just outside. A difference nonetheless.
Being in this new job does bring about certain challenges which I never thought would bother me. There are mostly about working with new people, being conscious about team and people dynamics and other stuff mostly concerning people matters. This brings me to the topic of what makes interesting work, and work interesting to me.
I have no doubt that technical challenges is the main factor for making any work interesting for me. But I also know for a fact that I'm also very much of a people person too. Let me rephrase: I am someone who is always concerned about how best to put forth my comments and ideas so that I'm understood and not misunderstood, and simultaneously being as sensitive as I can to how others are feeling about me, the situation and such. Such people-aspects of work, and life of course, has been an on-going effort and thus sometimes is relegated to the sub-conscious.
Thus, it is interesting to me that I'm putting in more effort to take a conscious note of the people dynamics around me than being worried about work challenges, or the lack of it.
Logically, blogging in an entirely different location should not matter that much. But again, it does feel good to being able to look out of the window and see a snow covered field just outside. A difference nonetheless.
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